Seriously, Sis Podcast

Everything Happens for a Reason… Or Does It?

Madison Powell & Julia McRae Season 1 Episode 26

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0:00 | 29:57

“Everything happens for a reason.”

It’s something we hear all the time, and maybe something we’ve said ourselves. But is it actually biblical?

In this episode of Does The Bible Say That?, we unpack why this phrase can be misleading and how it can unintentionally remove personal responsibility and the need for true repentance. While God is sovereign and able to redeem anything, not everything that happens is something He intended or approved.

We talk about the difference between God’s grace and using grace as an excuse, and what it really looks like to take responsibility for our actions while walking in obedience.

This conversation is about growth, accountability, and aligning our lives with what Scripture actually teaches.

Check us out!

Instagram: @SeriouslySis.Podcast

YouTube: @SeriouslySisPodcast

SPEAKER_01

Everything does not happen for the reason. Everything happens because you just do it. And you don't listen. And you just like you think you're invisible because sometimes never happens. Hey hey, it's Tearsleaf Podcast. And today we're actually going to be talking about everything happens for a reason.

SPEAKER_00

I think you set me up to say I hate these.

SPEAKER_01

So I think this is the one that I hate the most.

SPEAKER_00

Really? Out of everything we talked about, it's this one.

SPEAKER_01

I drives me nuts when people say everything happens for a reason, or if if it's meant to be, it will be.

SPEAKER_00

Why?

SPEAKER_01

I feel like it's an excuse that every time you do something that mess something out, oh wasn't meant to be.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I broke up with me because you know I snuck into his car and went through his things. He has trust issues. Wasn't meant to be.

SPEAKER_00

I wonder why he has trust issues. Can't be me. Can't be me. And I think that's what it is. It can't be me. That is the foundation for that idea. So this series about is about things that are not in the Bible. Can we go ahead and say that everything happens for a reason is not in the Bible?

SPEAKER_01

The reason is because you're stupid. Not most of the time. That's why things are happening.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I think that this kind of goes back to um one of the first ones that we did, which is um God working everything out for good. I think people just kind of continued that and then added their own thing to it. Like the first one is is in there, it's just the partial scripture. This one is just a tag that they've added to it, just like they like God left off a part. Let's just add this to it, just to make me feel a little bit better. It's not in there. Everything happening for a reason. But I will say, everything does happen for a reason. It doesn't mean that God did it, but it happened for a reason. It's called consequences.

SPEAKER_01

Most of the time you are the reason.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

That it happened. Most of the time. Not all, but most.

SPEAKER_00

I um don't know if I should say this or not, but I know someone who wrote a song, and the song was talking about how certain things were necessary to happen in life. And at the end of the song, they start going through um, you know, that time that I smoked weed, and that time that I got pregnant, and that time that I started doing all these things, and the tag is it was necessary. I just put the song out there. And I'm thinking to myself, none of that stuff was necessary. None of that stuff was chosen.

SPEAKER_01

You chose to do this, and there are consequences for action. So if you if you do this, this might happen, and you're willing to juggle, you have unprotected sex, you might get a baby.

SPEAKER_00

But it wasn't necessary.

SPEAKER_01

If that's your choice, I mean everything happens for a reason.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's an excuse to not own our stuff.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

You know, like we are really big on wanting to pass the buck. One, the the original sin. Right after the original sin, the next one was passing the buck because everyone else was blaming everybody else. Well, it was the woman you gave me. Well, it was the snake. Well, it was the this and that. So we come up with things all the time to try to make it somebody else's fault. But this one is even more dangerous because we're essentially saying without saying it, God did this.

SPEAKER_01

Well, yeah, we're saying that there's a lot of times that people say, if this didn't happen and this didn't happen, then I wouldn't have ended up right here. And if I didn't end up here, then I wouldn't have met you. I wouldn't have had this, this, all these things wouldn't have transpired and I wouldn't be sitting where I am right now on this podcast. Wow. Some of that may be true. If certain things didn't transpire the way they did, I probably wouldn't have met you.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

But it took my actions to get us to this point.

SPEAKER_00

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

It wasn't just exactly.

SPEAKER_00

And I think there are two, those are two different situations because there was a decision to go to a particular church that was based upon prayer, that was based upon um me visiting different churches. All of those things were very driven by the Lord from the beginning. Yeah. So I was asking the Lord, and I'm sure you were too, where do you want me to go? Where do you want me to be? And I know that your word says, do not forsake the fellowship of the brethren. So I'm looking for a church. I'm trying to stay in your will. I'm trying to do things that you've told me to do. And along that process, I went to a few churches. Once I got to the one that we're at now, I was like, okay, I feel like the Lord has given me confirmation that this is where I'm supposed to be. That's very different than me saying, yeah, I was a drug lord in my in my former days and it landed me in prison. And because I was in prison, I just happened to meet someone who told me about Jesus. Well, I'm glad that that happened.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm glad that that happened. But you going to prison because you couldn't stop selling drugs is not the same thing as me letting the Lord lead me through a decision in life to put me where he wants me to be.

SPEAKER_01

Now, he will use your stupidity for his glory.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

But he does not want you to be stupid. Like he doesn't want you to walk through those things. So when people say you're dating someone, everyone says, hey, um, this person's not a good person. Like this isn't a good guy. He's not the right guy for you. He's this, that, and the other. And you stick with him for a year and a half, two years, and at the end of it, it doesn't work out. And you're like, you know, everything happens for a reason. And, you know, I just don't think this is where, you know, the guy that God called me to. Well, we knew that a year and a half ago, two years ago. You know the first red flag, when he didn't meet your standards and the qualifications in which the Lord it tells you to look for in a husband, and he wasn't on that playing field, and you chose to still play, we already knew he wasn't the right one.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

You chose to spend two years of your life figuring out for yourself.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. And it's like, you know, again, to go back to the original analogy, there's one thing in walking um with the Lord and trying to follow his leading.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

There's another thing when he's given you an entire book, actually, a collection of numerous books, but he's giving you an entire book of things to do and not to do. And then you choose to not heed that and go your own way. We call those consequences.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You didn't have to do that because he gave you clear direction on do not do this, do not do that, or do do this and do that. And if you choose to do the opposite of that, those are now called consequences. Does God, can God take those things and turn them around? Yes. That is the totality of that scripture that God makes all things work together for the good of those who are called according to his purpose. Can he do that? Yes, he can. But it doesn't mean that we had to go through those things to get to this point. God wants to reveal himself to us. He's not just making us go through absolute poop tragedies just so that we can find him. Sometimes that happens in life, but it's not that God is like, I'm not going to reveal myself until they've lost their entire family. Like that's not, that's not his heart. He just wants you to know him. So sometimes, a lot of the times, the things that we go through are because of the decisions that we made. And the crazy part is that we understand that in other areas of life. Like if you go to your job and you act completely crazy and you get fired, most people are not going to say, it must have been the Lord's will. They're going to say, You never showed up on time, you never did what your boss asked you to do. You never completed any projects.

SPEAKER_01

I wasn't supposed to be at that job anymore.

SPEAKER_00

And then we would call you delusional. So why is it that we can see it in those areas of life? But then when it comes to spirituality, we don't understand that. Spirituality doesn't mean that we're devoid of logic. That's not what that means. It just means that our logic doesn't ever trump what God has said.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But he gave us a brain. We're supposed to use it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, um, I think that I've heard people use this so many times that as soon as I hear it, I just like immediately cringe. I'm just like, I don't know what God was doing here, but this is God's will. It's like we're we are stewards of certain things in our lives and we're supposed to steward it well. You know, you have kids. I am one of the authorities over my kids, and I'm going to raise them well. I'm going to do certain things, but I'm also going to protect them well. You know what I'm not going to do? I'm not going to put them in my car out of seat belts. I'm not going to be driving 90 and a 70. I'm not going to do anything that would make it to where I'm putting their life on the line. I'm going to steward this duty as a mom very well. Sure. And we often we have things that'll happen, tragedies that happen. And sometimes people are like, well, it was God's will. God's will wasn't for you to be in the car driving 90 and a 70 with your kids out of a seatbelt. That was not his will. You didn't steward this well. And it's okay, we all make mistakes, right? Some of them, some of our mistakes are tragedies.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Sure.

SPEAKER_01

But don't blame it on God. He didn't make you walk through that. Now he will walk with you through it. Sure. He will walk with you through all the hell that you decided to create for yourself. But he didn't give you that. Right. He gave us brains, to your point. We were made to use them. He also gave us a law in government. We have that to put things into play to keep us safe. For the most part. To keep us safe. For the most part. Yeah. For the most part. You know, we have laws to keep us safe and to make good decisions. I've seen where, you know, kids are walking through a crosswalk in a school zone. Someone hits the kid with their car. You know why? Because you weren't following, you weren't following the law that is in that space.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Everything does not happen for a reason. Everything happens because you're stupid and you don't listen. And you just like you think you're invincible, who sometimes, oh, you know, it'll be it'll never happen to me. Never.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And there was something that you said there that I want to highlight. All of us make mistakes, right? Every single last one of us makes makes mistakes. I think the thing that bothers me about this particular saying is that we use it as an excuse for habitual nonsense.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

It's one thing for you to stumble and fall. It's another thing for you to make your whole life's meaning around I'm going to live absolutely reckless. And then I'm going to blame it on God. And then in 40 years. It's going to be a great testimony, guys. Yeah. And then in 40 years when I'm ready to settle down, I'm going to tell everyone about how all this had to happen so that I could come to know the Lord. No, you just wanted to do what you wanted to do. Right. And now that you're past that, you want to kind of sugarcoat it and make it look nice and say, these things had to happen because they made me the person that I that I am today. Maybe they did contribute to the person that you are today, but I guarantee you that God didn't want you to sin to know him. Like that's that's kind of counterintuitive.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's contradicting of what the Bible is telling us to do.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. So that's the danger to me of that particular saying is that we're giving ourselves a pass to do anything. And the other thing that's dangerous about it, and and if you can't tell, this whole series for me is why these things are dangerous, is because sometimes I think we think we have time that we don't have. We don't necessarily have, right? I could walk out of this door today, fall down these stairs, break my neck, and it'd be the end of things. Sorry to make this morbid.

SPEAKER_01

Dang. But these stairs are really steep today.

SPEAKER_00

They are very steep. But that's my point. You never know what's going to happen. And so we we say these things and it creates a mindset that I've got time to get right. I've got time. The Lord's still working on my story. I've got time. Maybe not. You really don't know. And so if you know better today, do better today, or strive to do better today. I know that things are a process. Sanctification is a process. But if you know better, which is what you're telling me, you know, because you're saying all these things happen for a reason. Why don't you utilize that knowledge and do something different today? You might not have tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_00

So, you know, that's the danger in that mindset because we get in this in this emotion of, it's okay, God will fix it later. What if you don't have later? What if today is it?

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You know, and and that's really how we all should be living. And even if we don't die, what if Jesus comes back today? None of us know when that's gonna happen. What if, and and I don't want to turn this into a pre-trib or post-trib conversation, but none of us know when um God is coming back, when Jesus is coming back. You don't know that you have all this time that you think you have. And when he comes back, it's a wrap. There is no more, give me another chance, or you know please, please, please give me one more. He's just gonna ask you, what did you do with the time that I gave you? And if we know that, which we should, because we should be reading our Bibles, let today be that day that you decide to stop being ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01

And listen, guys, if you come to me and you use the saying everything happens for a reason, I will politely smile at you, but know that I'm like, here we go.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna start asking people, yeah, what is the reason?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, what was the reason? I'd much rather them say I'm hoping God will use it for his glory. Whatever it is. Yeah, it sucks, but I hope he's gonna use it for his glory.

SPEAKER_00

Or let's just be completely honest, yeah, I was an idiot and I did that thing. And then say what you said. But I'm hoping God uses it for his glory.

SPEAKER_01

I really love the just being honest when you're being stupid.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, I have said that about myself numerous times. Wow, that was stupid. Even in the moment, sometimes when my brain catches up to the fact that whatever I just did was ridiculous, I'm like, wow, that was stupid.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. We all do it. We have our moments where we put aluminum in a microwave and hit the button and then it hits you, and you're like, why did I do that?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. The other day I, since we're on microwaves, set the time on the microwave and started it and realized there's nothing in there. It's not gonna work. So we all do dumb stuff, you know. But we gotta stop doing this because the only people we're hurting, well, actually, there's a few people we're hurting, but we're hurting ourselves.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Because we're enabling ourselves to live in this stupor as if we have a whole bunch of time that we don't have. And also to not do what we need to do to live the way God has called us to live. Very dangerous. The other people that we're hurting is everyone else we're telling this to. Because now we're telling them it's okay to live however you want to live, because God's gonna make it right. Can he? Yes. Do you know that you have all this time? No, you don't.

SPEAKER_01

I remember it was probably when I was thir 13 to 16, somewhere in that time frame. That really was my mindset. I really didn't understand. I was like, so if I can sin, and I do, if I sin, and the Lord's just gonna forgive me anyways, like it doesn't matter. I used to think like that. I used to be like, so what you're telling me is I can do this thing multiple times and ask for forgiveness multiple times, and he's gonna forgive me. This is like 13-year-old Madison, youth group Madison, like I'm like, I think the system's broken. That's all I could think. I was like, um, wow, that's just strange how that works.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that's because we don't teach what real repentance is. Yeah. If you understand what repentance really is, then you don't have that mindset. But the the thing is, is you are 13. I'm talking about people who are 33. It's one thing to be a child and have that mindset you do as a child. Once you become an adult, it's time to put those things away.

SPEAKER_01

Have you ever seen one of those movies? I'm trying to think. There's those movies where I saw one and it's like the guy goes to sleep, and every time he wakes back up, he's on the same day. And he gets to live out that day. However, he's trying to save someone's life, if I think so in the thing. And it might be Tom Cruise, I'm not sure. As soon as he falls asleep, as soon as he gets to sleep and wakes up the next day, reliving the day all over again. I think that's where my mindset was because there's this song, it's called Your Mercies Are New Every Morning. And I think, well, tomorrow it's a it's a fresh start. So like whatever happened today, he's gonna, you know, we're gonna restart this. And I think that sometimes we we think through that scripture and we think, oh well, whatever happened yesterday doesn't matter. We're just gonna continue. But there's still consequences for what happened yesterday. Not everything happens for a reason. Most of the times things happen and you are the reason. Um, there are some that that's not the case, but most of the time the reason you need to go look in a mirror and be like, I'm the reason that happened.

SPEAKER_00

I am the problem.

SPEAKER_01

Or I was the catalyst to make that happen. Or I knew better and I let that happen. Like you're putting yourself around people who are doing things that you know are not accurate, biblically accurate, not right, you know, not something they should be doing. Man, I didn't do it, but I saw it coming and I didn't stop it. Like when you know someone robs a gas station and you're sitting in the car and then they come and jump in the car and get out. Guess what?

SPEAKER_00

You're an accomplice.

SPEAKER_01

You're an accomplice. Someone goes to someone's house and robs them, and you were there and you were like, I didn't rob them, but I didn't know they were gonna rob them, you're now an accomplice. Like you don't always have to be one doing the stupid thing for it to affect your life.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And and there's a lot of people sitting in jail. There's a lot of people just in life that have regrets. The reason why they have regrets is because they know they could have done something different.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So if that's the case, why don't you use that knowledge and do something different? And to go back, we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the Lord. The repentance is, God, I'm sorry. Help me to not do that again. Help me to learn from it. So that in the next thing, I don't repeat this. Right. If you don't ever have that moment with the Lord, I can see how you can end up being one of those people who abides by this saying because you don't ever learn. But God has given us a brain, He didn't give it to us for no reason.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think everyone has one.

SPEAKER_00

Well, fortunately, everyone does have a brain. Not everyone uses their brain, but they do have one. But it is just a dangerous mindset to have um for all of the reasons in which we've mentioned. But this is the last thing I'll say. I listened to this um girl's testimony on Instagram or something, and she was talking about how she knew the Lord, but she wasn't living for the Lord. And um she was she was in music in uh in the world, and she said that every night she would pray and ask the Lord to forgive her, and she felt like, you know, sleep washed clean, kind of like what you were saying. Mercy's new every morning. But she had this dream one night, and uh, in the dream, she said she was like floating over the earth. Sorry, this is about to get a little weird for a second. She was floating over the earth, and she was like, Man, Lord, this is a cool experience. She was thinking she was having like a vision, and then she ended up encountering Satan, and she said, Oh no, I died. And she had forgotten to pray before she went to sleep. So she thought that she went to hell because she forgot to pray, and now she's having this dream, and she thinks, Oh Lord, I didn't ask for forgiveness. I'm gonna die. There was more to the testimony, but I want to stop right there to say that. Are his mercies new every morning? Yes, yes, they are. What if you don't make it to the morning? What if you don't make it to the morning? And the fact that you know that what you're doing is wrong means that you have no leg to stand on. Whenever the Lord, on the last day, asks us to give an account of every idle word that we said and everything that we did. All of us are going to do that. Some of us are going to be covered under the blood of Jesus Christ. Others are not. But all of us are going to give an account on what we did and what we said. If you knew better, God's going to ask you why you didn't do better.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

It's a dangerous game to play. And you just asking the Lord to forgive you when your heart is fully intent on doing it again, it's not repentance. And that is the foundation of everything happens for a reason.

SPEAKER_01

Oh boy. I'm going to end on an analogy that I just want to throw out there. Now, I do think, like I said, a lot of things happen because of us. It's our fault. Um, I'm not saying everything horrible that has happened in your life is because you were being dumb.

SPEAKER_02

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

Things do happen. But I will use this analogy. Just like a child with a hot stove hitting the hot stove and burning their hand, a parent will often say, They'll never do that again. But the parent's intention was not for the child to ever experience that.

SPEAKER_02

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

I don't want them to touch the hot stove. But if they do, I know they won't ever do that again. It's the same thing for us with everything happens for a reason. The reason that happened is because the stove was on and it was hot, and we know kids don't do what they're supposed to do anyways, right? And so there was repercussions because he did something you told him not to do. Now he's burnt. But my intention, I did not want him to go through that.

SPEAKER_02

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

My intention is that he never experienced what a hot stove feels like. And we continue on in life and he just knows it's hot and he shouldn't touch it. That's the same thing. Everything happens for a reason. Most of the time, the reason is us.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Or the reasons is the people you surround yourself with are going to put you in situations where you're going to find yourself sitting at church, like, I mean, everything happens for a reason. I don't know why this happened. But if you're with a group of people and you don't have enough influence to impact the decisions and impact making sure that you guys are doing things the right way, then get with a different group.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like if you don't have a voice loud enough that they're going to lift listen to logic, it's time to get going, man. Yeah. Um just don't play, don't play uh games with your life, with your life, because like you said, things are not promised. Um, I've seen people who have lost their life at a young age, and it was time after time, I'm doing this, nothing's happened. I'm doing this, nothing's happened. And then finally they did that and something happened and they're no longer with us. So use your brain. Your pain is not meant uh to, I mean, it's going to forge you in certain ways, but you didn't have to go that direction. That's not necessary.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And I know that I said that was the last thing, but this is very short, the last thing. I think also we paint an inaccurate picture of God when we say that. Because if we say that everything happens for a reason and we're essentially blaming God for the reason why it happens, then we're also saying that God intentionally puts us in bad situations.

SPEAKER_01

Everybody thinks they're having a Job moment when they might be having a Jonah moment.

SPEAKER_00

Right. But even with Job, Satan wanted to do all of those things.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Did God allow it? Maybe. Yeah. But Satan.

SPEAKER_01

According to the scripture, he did.

SPEAKER_00

He he did allow it. But he did. My point is that he didn't do it. God is not the one out here just doing these things to us. He is a good father. He works things for our good. Sometimes he allows things to happen because it teaches us a lesson. But when we say everything happens uh for a reason, we paint this picture that God is just out here picking on us. And that's just not like what more could he give us? He gave us his only son. He gave us a book of things to do and not to do. He speaks to us through his spirit to keep us from doing all these crazy things. And then we turn around and say, God, this is your fault. For the things.

SPEAKER_01

The crazy thing is, he'll still offer you grace and give you beauty for the ashes.

SPEAKER_00

And he will. But what I'm saying is that if you're going to minister or evangelize to someone who doesn't know the Lord, and that's the picture you're giving them. Yeah, why would they want that? You're essentially saying, Yeah, we serve a God who picks on us and he makes life really hard.

SPEAKER_01

Life is so difficult.

SPEAKER_00

Follow him.

SPEAKER_01

Would you want to come with us? I mean, it's good over here.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, again, does God allow certain things? Yes, he absolutely does. But it's just like, this is why people have an issue with that. Like, if if God is so good, why do these things happen? You can't answer that question if you're out here telling him God is the one who's making all these things happen. No, it is most of the time the consequences of your actions.

SPEAKER_01

Or someone else else. Or someone else's actions.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And then God uses it. But he's not just down here, especially since we live in the grace age. And what I mean by that is we're waiting on Jesus to come back and he sent his spirit. We're under grace right now at a level in which we weren't before because of the law. We're no longer under the law. We're under grace because of Jesus Christ. I'm not saying go out here and act a fool, but I'm just saying that we're under grace. God has given us grace. Um while we have said grace, let's not use it as an excuse to just live absolutely crazy. I just sometimes I want to ask people, what more do you want from God? Like he's given you everything. What do you want? What more do you want? But you're painting a picture that he's just this mean God who's just out here smiting people because someone else's story 30 years from now. What? So I just feel like we don't paint an accurate image of God and his goodness when we do that because people who are looking at it logically are like, so you're telling me that God did all of this stuff to you and you want me to follow him? Why would I do that?

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

So anyway, that's that's just my thoughts on it. Um, it's just take accountability for the things that you do. And when things happen that are outside of your control, also understand the author of that. Because then we can have an accurate and realistic relationship with the Lord. Right. And we can accurately um evangelize to people who don't know him. But how can you do that when you saying things like this kind of makes me wonder if you know him?

SPEAKER_01

Hmm. So, in conclusion, everything happens for a reason. And the reason is you, most of the time.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_01

I don't have anything.

SPEAKER_00

I don't either. I think we can be done now.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you. Until next time. See y'all next time.