You Didn’t Need to Post That…

Not every thought needs a post.
Not every emotion needs a text.
And not everything belongs online forever.

In this episode, we talk about the wisdom of keeping some things in the drafts before immediately posting, texting, subtweeting, or responding emotionally.

From seeking validation in the wrong places…
To letting social media create a false sense of confidence…
To saying things behind a screen we’d never say face-to-face…

We unpack why the heart behind what we post matters just as much as the post itself.

Check us out!

Instagram: @SeriouslySis.Podcast

YouTube: @SeriouslySisPodcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

That's why when people, and I think about like text messaging in general, when someone needs to apologize to someone and they text, hey, they text as a long apologies, you know why? They had time to strategically think of exactly what they were gonna say and how they were gonna say it, how they were gonna spin it and manipulate the words. I hate it. You better call me on the phone, please do not have behind the keyword because I'm not okay with it. I'm way better at the comebacks than I have to sell years of wisdom and talking about that. Hey, hey, it's seriously so this podcast, and welcome back. And this week, I'm actually going to introduce our subject. We're gonna be talking about things that should have stayed in the draft pile.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

See, we already started this once, and the first time that you said that, I was thinking social media, but this time you said draft pile, so that could mean texts, that could mean social media, that could mean emails, passive-aggressive messages that you want to send to your boss.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

It really could mean a lot of things. There's a lot of things that probably should have stayed in the draft pile.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

I think the thing that I experienced the most though is social media.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Oh my goodness. Things that you should not post on social media. First of all, I would like to ask the question: why does everyone feel like they should have their whole live commentary out for a bunch of strangers to read?

SPEAKER_03 1:34

I don't know. Because there's a part of me that's like, do you not have people that you can talk to? But then I know some of these people, and I'm like, you absolutely have people that you can talk to. So why does the world need to see your dirty laundry?

SPEAKER_01 1:48

And often when I see the the word vomit going on on social media, uh, I think everyone's thinking the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

I think we all read it and we're like, yeah, I don't you shouldn't have posted that. Yeah, I think you shouldn't have done that.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

I wonder if people think about the light that they are portraying themselves in sometimes when they do that.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

And the person that they've posted about.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

That too. Didn't even think about that.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Like, I've seen some posts that I'm like, did you really plan to just blow that whole relationship up?

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Because you just had to make a Facebook post because they made you mad and you gotta air all their dirty laundry. Like, that's crazy. There's a level of trust that I've placed in certain people that if I say something to them in confidence, that they're not gonna go and blow it up on social media.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Why though? Why do people do that? Like, what would be the reasoning? Because there are certain things that I think that I want to post, and and never is it is my my business, but there are certain things that I think I want to post sometimes, and I'm just like you don't need to post that. So I don't understand how we go from your whole world is exploding to yeah, this seems like the thing to put on Facebook. What's that transition? What is that thought process? Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

So one, I think they're an idiot, but two, you just want to call people idiots.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Like that's that's what that is.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

I think the process in someone's mind is is one, if they're in an argument with someone, they want people to co-sign that they're right. That's the first thing. Or I want them to feel sorry for me, or I don't really understand value and I'm trying to find some value in this. Like if I can get 50 people to like my post, I mean, surely they they love me. Do you know the idea of I don't post a lot on social media? I used to. I used to post every birthday, everything that ever happened, I had to make a public display of affection online. Because if I don't, I must not love that person. If they don't post happy birthday on my timeline, then they just must not even care about me as a human being. Um but I stopped doing that. I stopped really posting um because I tell you, hey, happy birthday. Hey, I'm talking to you. Like, I'm like our com our relationship's more than a post. So when people decide to, I don't know, just blow their whole marriage up on Facebook because something happened that they just weren't okay with, so they decided to pull every skeleton out of the closet, and I'm gonna make an example out of you. And then a week later, they're like, Oh, everything's good now, guys.

SPEAKER_03 5:06

I'm like, Yeah, see, that's the thing about the internet is that the internet always has receipts.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

It doesn't go away.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

It doesn't go away.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Y'all, everything has receipts, don't be doing nothing because it doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, someone will film it, someone will put it online. I have seen so many TikTok videos that I'm like, this person knew better than be acting like that.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

I think value is is definitely one of them. Um, especially when it's an emotional like type of post, like you said, like it's a marriage or something like that. I think the other thing is lack of wisdom sometimes. Like sometimes we put stuff out there, whatever the emotion may be, whether it's you know, I'm going through a hard thing or it's I just wanted to party and you know lose my mind this weekend. And I'm gonna post this because do the kids still say YOLO? I don't think they do, but we did. You only live once.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Yes, I I know. It took a second, but I was like, what is that again? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

Um, and I think it's just a lack of wisdom sometimes. It's like, no, use some discernment about what you put out there because again, like we just said, the internet always has receipts. That's the thing that I really like about our generation. We were probably the last generation where you could make a mistake in private.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Man, you can get away with so much. You can't get away with nothing at all nowadays, especially if you post it.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

And the these kids sometimes I see them posting things, and I'm just like, the 30-year-old version of you is going to be cringing when they think about this in about 12 good years. Like, I know you're 18 now.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I'm just so happy that there was no social media to take pictures of some of the outfits I used to wear because I would be cringing. Yeah, there's some that exist of me, but I have since I have some of Michael that he made me swear I wouldn't show anyone.

unknown 7:01

But I have that.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

See, that's too much power. This is why you don't put it out there because if I gotta ask you not to post something about me, that's too much power. And and and we can't do that. We we absolutely can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Next time he's standing next to us, I'm gonna say, Julie, you should see these old pictures I have of Michael. Just watch what he does. Don't you dare. No, but literally, we just be posting things online that have no business being there. We say things in the group chat that have no business being there. Um, I don't know if we're authentically being ourselves or just trying to be what we think people want us to be. If it is authenticity and that's just people being themselves, I'm very concerned. If it is that people are trying to find where they fit in, and so they're posting things, trying to get reactions, that's a whole different subject. But if authentically, this is how shallow and self-absorbed we are as people, that is concerning.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

So I think going back to the internet, that posting things, there's a level of separation between um reality when you can be a keyboard warrior. I think sometimes that there is, yes, I want to give this persona that I don't actually have, but I can make it look like that because of social media. Chat GPT, chat GPT, but I also think the opposite is equally as true. I think sometimes people lose the, you know, I like when you're talking with someone face to face, I can see your reactions, I can see, you know, how you're gonna respond to what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

That's just my preference, right?

SPEAKER_03 8:48

Mine too. But if you don't have that, you don't have any inhibitions either. And sometimes I think people can put their real selves on the internet. This is what's really in here, and there's no barrier, there's no like social cue, that's what I'm looking for, that's keeping me from doing that. So I think you get both. I think you get the person who wants to come across as something that they're not, but then you also get the person who's like, this is what I really think, and this is my Facebook page. So I'm gonna say what I want to say, which you should, because it's your Facebook page. But, but sometimes I think it removes the um the inhibitions that we would have in regular everyday life. And then we say crazy things that we really do actually believe, but maybe wouldn't I actually say if somebody was in a slapable range.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Yeah, like people are saying things that they dare not say to my face. I promise you. That's why when people, and I think about like text messaging in general, when someone needs to apologize to someone and they text, hey, they text this long apology. You know why? They had time to strategically think of exactly what they were gonna say and how they were gonna say it, how they're gonna spin it, manipulate the words. I hate it. You better call me on the phone. Please do not hide behind the keyboard because I'm not okay with it. I'm way better at the comebacks. You know, I have some years of wisdom and talking smack under my belt. But um You too. Just a good couple. That's why, like you said, they wouldn't dare not say these things that they say online to your face. Not because I'm gonna slap them, but I might slap them with my words respectfully.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

I'm gonna not touch that because I don't want us to get kicked off of YouTube or any other platform. But um, yeah, no, there have definitely been things that people have said to me online that I knew for a fact if you were standing in front of me, you wouldn't say because you would know better.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

And can we talk about the things that people ask, the questions people ask online, and then you read them and you're like, oh, brother, you should have just Googled this. Like, why did you put this out here for everyone to see? And then you're sitting there like, like, there is a um a community I'm in. It's it's uh like a vet page where you can go on and ask vets questions about concerns or things going on with your animals. I love it. Because if I ever have an issue, I can just go in the search bar and search what I'm thinking and go find a post and go and read it. But sometimes people post things on there, and I am like, I cannot believe you are sitting on your couch and and posting this post rather than taking that dog to the emergency clinic. What is wrong with you? I'm just I'm just like so surprised. Like some of the things that people will post online instead of just Google Web MDing, just WebMD, just do that or go to the doctor. But please stop asking the people on Facebook to diagnose you with whatever the heck's wrong with you. It just makes no sense. Listen, absolutely not. I don't even really want people to WebMD, but if I had to choose between you asking me and you just going to chat, just go to Chat GPT. That's the personal relationship with you and AI.

SPEAKER_03 12:08

Yes. Now you saying that just made me think about something else that I just really always shake my head at. And um, with us being a podcast, it's teetering on the edge of being hypocritical. Teetering. But um, experts, internet experts.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Who I thought everyone on the internet was an expert.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

They think they are too. Um, so when people post and they just know that they know, for instance, AI is a beautiful example. Something is very clearly AI, right? Like that dog has five legs. But you are you have posted this video and you're convinced that that dog just jumped off of the roof and um into the bed of a truck and got in the truck and started driving, and you're convinced that it's real.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Now that's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

Yeah, I'm I'm like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

But there are some AI posts that are pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

Yes, there are.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

But do you always know because you what like you'll read a story or watch a post and you'll be like, wow, that's incredible. And then you think about it, you're like, this is fake.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Yes, but here's the thing: the same 30 seconds that it took you to watch that, take 30 more and do some research. And I I feel that way more so when it comes to things about politics or when it comes to things about um religion or just factual things that you can verify, people will see something and then immediately get emotionally attached and then have this whole post, whole video, whole argument, dissertation about it. And it's just like, but that's not real. That should have stayed a draft until you did the research to find out hmm, is this true? There's been certain times with people in my life that they'll send me something, and I know that they're like it's it's connected to something that they really feel strongly about, and I'll look at it and I'll just respectfully say to them, This is not real. Please don't post it. Please don't repost this. It's not real.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Yeah, so that didn't happen.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

That didn't happen. Um, yeah, I listen, I'm all about leading the charge for something, if something is true, but can we make sure it's true first before we get all up in our feelings and destroy friendships over this AI, very clearly AI post.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Another thing that should be kept in the drafts is when you're trying to do a trend and the audio does not match up with whatever you are doing, just don't do it.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Madison, I've done that on our podcast a couple times.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

I cannot.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

It wasn't intentional.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

I know. I actually I think I saw this last one, the opener. I was like, why is the audio? And I, you know, I was gonna leave it.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

That was a mistake.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

But listen, when you know that it doesn't match up and you're like trying to do a trend, nothing is more annoying than when you're like yes, I agree, I agree, and I will do better.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Um, but no, I agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

So stop letting your kids go online and do these adult trends and thinking that it's somehow, oh, this is so cute. There's been many times I've seen like cute little outfits that I would wear, but they're Ellie size. But I'm not gonna buy it for Ellie. It's cute. But no, she's my baby because she's she wears pampers and anything with an a a little Toy Story person on it.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Yeah, because we need to let kids be kids.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Stop trying to let kids be kids, change them into adults.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

No, I get that. Yeah, put that away.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

And stop posting things online with no context. That drives me nuts too when you post like some tragedy is happening, but don't ever tell us what the heck you're talking about. Why are you even doing that? Like, why even post a whole situation and not really tell us the meat and potatoes?

SPEAKER_03 16:06

It's like, I don't know if you've ever seen those videos of um people that they're like in the hospital or whatever, and they're like, you know, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers or whatever. And so they're actively posting this baiting for people's responses. And then when people reach out and ask, Are you okay? Then they hit you with this passive aggressive, guys, I just need privacy right now. Like, I'm going through a lot. And exactly. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 16:33

You just then why did you post this online if you didn't want me to know? As soon as something happens, I'm doing the dirt and digging. It just is what it is.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

Like, or I'm just being a dictating human and asking you if you're okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

I refuse to ask anyone questions because I will not be the person that they're like, Well, why don't you just leave me alone? Like, oh, that's so rude. You should have never asked that. That's so invasive. Then why did you post it online where everyone can see it?

SPEAKER_03 16:56

Yeah, and see, that's kind of where I lean. If it's someone that I have any semblance of a relationship with and you post something like that, I'm going to privately reach out to you and ask you if you're okay. And then if you gaslight me to make me try to make me feel like I'm like nosy or something, I'm gonna let you know right now. No, you know what you're doing. Please don't ever do this again.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

You post a picture of yourself bawling, crying, and I say, You good, and you're like, Oh, that's so horrible. Did you expect me to just not say anything?

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Those are attention seekers.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

I I can't deal with it. It drives me crazy. You're just like, what is wrong with you? Are you all right? If you need help, blink twice.

SPEAKER_03 17:35

They'll probably blink three times and then we'll all be confused.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Is that a yes or no? Is that amazing?

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Not really sure. What else needs to live in the draft? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

I don't know. I can't really think of many more than that. Every time that I see someone post, uh, they you have a disagreement with someone and you want to post all the the text messages and everything on your story, just so everybody knows this is what happened. I didn't even know there was a problem until you posted that. I thought everything was fine. But I guess since you like there's just some people that their their whole page is drama, everything about is drama. And it's not, and for me, like for some people, I'm sure they're like, oh, this is awesome. It's entertainment. For me, I'm like, I gotta stay away from this person because the last thing I want is to be a part of one of their dramatic posts.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

Yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

I will have to block, delete, all of it.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Yeah, I think the last thing that I'll say is making posts where you're asking too many people for advice.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Oh, God, yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

You don't know, like you need to be selective about who you ask certain things, and and that can be subject to subject. It doesn't necessarily have to be all the time, but it's just like you're asking these people for medical advice, or you're asking just the whole internet for you know, guidance on your walk, or you don't do that. Like, find find people you trust and and do those things. First of all, you're putting your business out there unintentionally, right? And secondly, um, not everybody has your best interest at heart, nor does is everyone qualified to speak into a particular situation. Please stop doing that.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Yeah, um I think that's why everyone is so confused about everything, is because everybody is an expert on everything. Actually, it was so funny because I saw someone um was asking something parenting related on a post the other day, and I I was just opening it and I was looking through the comments, and there were so many people in the comments that have never done what she was asking, nor if they ever parented. And I was like, huh, interesting that they would feel the need to uh go on there. It's like I have a lot of dogs. If someone asked for an opinion on certain things about dogs or a specific type of dog that I happen to have, I would expect that if I was to post on there, it would make sense. But when someone that maybe owns a cat is posting on the answer, then you're like, okay, well, whatever. I just think that we just should all just get rid of social media.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

I actually really dislike social media. I I dislike certain ones. I dislike Facebook, if you can't tell. I really, really actually hate Facebook. The only reason why I still have one is for marketplace.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

Yeah, I have one because my mom likes to send me a lot of stuff that I told her one time she sent me one more reel that I was going to block her. Um, but I I have a large, large family, and I think that's where most of them post their stuff, and I keep up with their lives on there for the most part. But I'm not huge on posting my everything about myself on social. It's so dangerous. First of all, you shouldn't be doing that. Um, and two, I think my algorithm on Facebook is broke because all it is is a bunch of puppies. Like every time I open it, I don't get to see anyone's post. All I see is dogs all day long. So I think it's broken. And then if I get on TikTok, it's depressing. My algorithm's like really depressing.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

Yeah, don't ever send me anything from your TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

All the horrible things that stupid people do.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Yeah, I just nah. Let's just get rid of it. Let's get rid of it.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Or I enjoy watching people do like the cup thing where they try to hit the bell, and whoever hits the bell loses, and then they get a they get a treat or something.

SPEAKER_03 21:47

A treat.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Or I like to watch the one where they like rock paper scissors and they're trying to eat the food quicker than the other person so they get no food. Yeah. I like watching that. I love that. Should keep those things on social media, they keep me so energetic. In conclusion, there are some things that really just make my day better. Yeah. Watching someone eat a burrito in like 40 seconds flat.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

I enjoy that.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

Yeah, I know. You're you're the type of social media user who goes on there and orders like life-size gusher gummies.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

She only says that because I accidentally ordered some gushers from our TikTok account. So she knows how much money I spent on candy.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

Yes, I do. And it was ridiculous, by the way. She also buys chamoy pickle kits.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

Oh my gosh. And if you haven't had one, if you haven't had one, don't eat it. Listen. No, you will love it. She's never even had one, so you really can't judge. Listen to what it is. It is a chamoy pickle. They already know because if they're watching this, they've surely seen one that you hollow out and then you stuff with like gushers and sasketties, I think is what they're called. And you wrap it with a fruit roll-up, and then you put hot Cheetos in it, and then chamoy, and then chamoy powder.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

And a pickle.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

And it is so good.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

The first time I ate it, I was really upset that I liked it because of how much work it was to put together. But surprisingly, it tastes like you would expect heartburn to taste. I don't know how to explain it, but it's so good.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

In conclusion, you should also take that kind of stuff off of social media as well, because then people make poor financial decisions.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

I have bought a lot of things on TikTok that were absolutely disgusting. There's only been like three things I've really liked.

SPEAKER_03 23:39

So we should take all the things we mentioned off of social media, leave them in the draft, and we should just collectively take Madison off of social media and leave her in the draft.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

I'm just here to watch, you know, people make weird food so I can try to eat it and see if it's any good.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

Oh my gosh. Is there anything that else that we should be leaving in the drafts? I think I've got all of mine out of my mind.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Just listen. Before you write a post, that is political.

SPEAKER_03 24:13

Too much information.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Yeah, TMI.

SPEAKER_03 24:17

All of your personal information.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Don't put it in there.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

Or a major life decision that you need to make.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

Please don't post that. Yeah. You don't need anyone's influence on decisions you should be making. And hey, listen, if the Lord told you to do something, don't post it on social media. Don't need anyone to talk you out of it.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

No, you don't. That's good.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Especially if it sounds crazy.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Glad that you thought of that. That's good. That's good.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

Could you imagine if like Jonah had social media?

SPEAKER_03 24:46

Well, he already didn't do it.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

He posted, Well, the Lord told me.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

I I'm gonna do a poll, guys. Do you think I should do this or no? Should I respond in my story?

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Could you imagine if you posted so? I was just spit out of a very large fish.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Not a well.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

Okay, we're done because she's a very large fish. She's getting ready to go on a tangent. In conclusion, be selective about what you post, whether that's on social media or in an email or a text. Check your heart. Don't send things you'll regret, and the receipts follow you.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

And everyone's always watching, even if they don't like it. They read it. If they're your friend, they read it.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

Unless you have my algorithm that I didn't see nothing you can post it. I just see a bunch of puppies.

SPEAKER_03 25:43

Oh my gosh. Well, find more friends like Madison, I guess, and then your business won't be out there. But don't put your business on the internet. Just don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

Then when you get mad at me, Madison, why didn't you like my post? You'll be like, What post did you post? I don't even see my husband's post.

SPEAKER_03 25:56

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Like, I posted, I posted this beautiful post about you, and I'm like, you did?

SPEAKER_03 26:03

We need to get up for this before you get in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Alright, guys. Well, until next time. Stop posting stupid things.