Boundaries or Walls? There's a BIG Difference

Everyone is talking about boundaries - but are we talking about them biblically?

The word boundaries has become one of the most common pieces of advice in modern culture. But is every boundary healthy? Are boundaries necessary and could some "boundaries" actually become walls that keep us from accountability, forgiveness, and genuine relationships?

In this conversation, we dig into Scripture to separate biblical wisdom from modern self-help. Looking at John 2:23-25, Matthew 10:37-39, Luke 14:26, and Genesis 2:24, we explore how Jesus modeled healthy relational wisdom without isolating Himself from the people He came to save.

We'll discuss:

Why Jesus didn't trust everyone - but still loved everyone.
The difference between protecting your heart and hardening it.
When boundaries honor God.
When they become an excuse to avoid difficult conversations.
How to recognize the difference between wisdom and self-protection.

Scriptures Discussed
📖 John 2:23-25
📖 Matthew 10:37-39
📖 Luke 14:26
📖 Genesis 2:24

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Instagram: @SeriouslySis.Podcast

YouTube: @SeriouslySisPodcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

There's a huge difference between setting boundaries and unprotecting my feet.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Yeah. Because your feet could be causing chaos in everybody else's life.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Maybe that you made a mess and now you're like, nah, I'm out.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

We're not talking about that anymore. Hey, hey, seriously, podcast. Welcome back. And this week we're going to be talking about our boundaries biblical.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Yes, we are. And we had a little bit of um pre-filming discussion around it because somebody challenged me to uh ask if there were any scriptures that I had prepared. I kind of took it personally, but it wasn't me. Yes, it was. We're not gonna lie on this podcast on this good day. Um but we started this conversation, and uh I actually think us having the pre-conversation helped me to come up with some more ideas. So um let me be clear. The answer in my mind is yes. Boundaries are absolutely biblical. I think that we have a plethora of examples um of good boundaries, but I think we should preface that. We're not just talking about boundaries that you have for other people, and then you act a fool, but you do what you want to do, and then as soon as somebody calls you on your stuff, then you set a boundary. We're talking about healthy boundaries because you're guarding your heart, you're guarding your calling, you're guarding your health, those kinds of things. I just want to preface because this conversation can very quickly go left and be a worldly conversation of I just want to live my life on my terms, and who cares about what y'all want?

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Right. I think that uh there's a huge difference between setting boundaries and I'm protecting my peace. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Yeah, because your peace could be causing chaos and everybody else is like peace, maybe that you made a mess and now you're like, nah, I'm out. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

We're not talking about that anymore.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Yeah. And you know, not the topic, but I think it's a good thing that we have this discussion because the word boundaries has such a negative connotation now because of people doing things like that, that I feel like we're starting to somewhat see a trend of people going away from using the word and therefore implementing boundaries into their life, which is also bad. Like if you are afraid of a buzzword, you won't ever have a healthy understanding of it and then use it healthily in your life. Um, so I think you know, both sides, both extreme ends of the spectrum are bad. Like if you if you don't ever have boundaries, your life is gonna be a disaster. But if you have superficial or surface level boundaries that is really just about how you feel in the moment, your life and everyone around you is gonna be bad because who can deal with that?

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Yeah, I think that uh when you think boundaries, there's a lot of like actual physical boundaries that are great boundaries. You know, when you go to the swimming pool, there's usually these toggles things that are crossed, and it's a boundary to show you that once you've passed that, you no longer can reach it with your feet most of the time. You know, it's to warn you hey, you go any further and you don't know how to swim, well, you're probably gonna drown. Bad day. Yeah, it's not gonna be good. Or I know that I went to go see um Niagara Falls. They have this huge platform that you can walk out on, and there is a railing, a boundary keeping you from walking off. Now, I got nowhere near that because it was terrifying. I was watching kids lean on it. I was like, I don't trust nothing like that. But these things are most of the time to warn and protect.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Right. So why would we think any different when we put um boundaries when it comes to people who, in all honesty, maybe are ruling your life, trying to rule your life emotionally abusive, whatever it may be. Sometimes you just gotta put them up.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Exactly. I love that you said that that uh you use that very everyday analogy of like a guardrail or like, you know, whatever, like Niagara Falls, because that's exactly what a boundary is. It is to, or supposed to be, to keep you safe, to keep your physical well-being safe, to keep your mental well-being safe, spirit safe. It is not a license for you to just do whatever and then keep your pride safe from anybody being able to come in and say anything or hold you accountable for what you've done. So definitely have to make that distinction.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Keep you from correction.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Keep you from correction, which is what I see a lot of people who are abusing it using it for.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

So I'm talking about that. Protect I'm protecting my peace. Normally, the people who say that, it's because they've done something very unpeaceful to somebody else. And now I gotta protect my peace because I don't want the repercussions of my behavior to affect me. It's okay if I can say whatever I want, but when you start to try to tell me something, no, I don't want to hear it.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Yeah, and fortunately for me, I don't care about that.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

We know.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Okay, so we've established that there's a wrong way to think about this and a right way to think about this. So now that we are focusing on the right way, right? What are, and I can go first if I need to. Actually, no, I'm gonna let you go first. What are some biblical examples that back up our belief that boundaries are biblical?

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Well, when I'm thinking about boundaries being biblical, I think of you know, Jesus multiple times uh set a boundary between the disciples and where they were going into town. He took them out of the way to have boundaries with just the them. Um, that's one of the things I think about.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Yeah. Yeah, he definitely did. And I think um, to your point, the primary scripture that I have prepared for for this topic is exactly that. At the beginning of Jesus' ministry, um, he was doing all these signs and wonders and things. Um, and John, I believe, I'll put the correct scripture in post. But put it on the screen. Yeah, I'll put it on the screen like I've been doing lately. Um, quick aside, have you seen that I have been saying the wrong thing lately? And I've had to do the little asterisk thing like to be like, that's not what I meant. For instance, the other day I said that Peter was killing Christians. I definitely meant Paul.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

So I'll put it in post, guys. Charge it to my head and not my heart. But anyway, back to what I was saying. Um, Jesus at the beginning of his ministry, he was doing a lot of signs and wonders. And naturally, people were in awe of him and he was drawing a crowd. Um, but if you keep reading, it says that he did not entrust himself to them because he knew what was inside of man. Meaning, he didn't let them blow his head up, he didn't let them um, you know, just be around him and have complete access to him all the time because he knew what was inside of him. But we see that he did pick certain people, 12 of them to be exact, to be very close with him, to be intimate with him, to walk this life out with him. And so in that we see that Jesus has established a boundary. Why? Because he had a purpose and a call. He couldn't get caught up in everybody else's view of what he was doing, because the moment you allow the wrong voice to speak into your life is when you get derailed. Jesus had a very, very important mission, right? And so he couldn't just allow any and everyone in his circle. Now, Jesus is God, but he was also man. So the fact that he was intentional about who he allowed near him and to speak into his life should be a sign for all of us that we need to do the same thing too. There are certain people in our camp that should have that access to us. Right. And then there are other people in our camp who we know it will be bad for our calling, it will be bad for our health, it'll be bad for our finances, whatever it may be to have that person around. And you have to use wisdom to know, okay, for them, I need to set a boundary.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Yeah, I think that sometimes you don't even have to have wit, you just have to have common sense. Like some of these things, you're just like, okay, am I really gonna let this person move up in my house and mooch up off of me?

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Am I gonna allow that? Am I gonna allow every time I go out with this group of friends that I have to pay for everyone's food? Am I gonna allow that? Like, am I gonna allow that every time I have something that I need to talk about or I need to bring to my group of friends, they don't want to hear it, but they want to unload everything on me. Am I gonna allow that?

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

So it's not, it's not some of these things aren't difficult. I think sometimes we I don't want to say put up with it. I think we want to be wanted or needed when we really should be be valuing ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

So I I think that yes, while some of it you do have to be able to discern, am I putting up this boundary because I I need to, and the Holy Spirit's leading me this way, or am I doing it because I'm prideful? I think there's a difference.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Yeah, for sure, for sure. And you're right, some of it is common sense. Some of y'all got uh have people just causing chaos in your life, and you know it's causing chaos in your life and you refuse to set a boundary. Um, that could also be though, because of, like you said, your own selfish reason for why you won't set that boundary. Right. You know, I this person is wreaking havoc on my finances, but they make me feel good about myself. No, you need to establish a boundary because though they may be tickling your fancy in a particular area, they're not helping you in any way. They're not furthering you in any way. As a matter of fact, they're pulling you back. So boundaries can be because, yes, somebody's treating us bad, but it can also be because they're fueling something in us that really God should be feeling in us. And we're okay with it no matter what else they do, because they're they're fulfilling that need that I have inside of myself. You need to establish a boundary because now you're putting your love and your your adoration into a person more so than it is in God and who he is in your life and those kinds of things, and that's not good either, even if it feels good.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Sometimes boundaries are just standards as well. Like let's think about it in a dating sense. We're dating someone, if you have no boundaries. I'm gonna call it boundaries, but really I'm talking standards, they're the same thing. What is off the table? What's off limits here?

unknown 10:59

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

Like what where do we draw the line to where we left dating and now we're behaving married? Like, where do we where do we draw that? You know, I I think about um different relationships that I've seen or things that I've seen happen where maybe the woman didn't set a boundary. And instead, you know, hey, we're just gonna move in together. Hey, I'm gonna help him out. He needs he needs assistance. Who are you to assist him? He's a grown man, you know what I mean? Set some boundaries, and then in long term it doesn't work out and it's a big catastrophe. And it's like, well, if you would have set boundaries at the beginning that you knew you wanted and to stand on, but you probably didn't because you were scared he was gonna leave, either A, he was gonna leave or he would have rose to the occasion.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

It'd been one or the other, yeah. But at least we wouldn't have played those games.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Yeah, and your heart wouldn't have been stomped on for the last time. Nobody has time for that. No, nobody does time for it. They don't. And marriage is another great biblical example of where we are shown to have a boundary.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

So the Bible says I knew you were going here.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

When a man finds a wife, they leave their mother and father's house and then they cleave to one another and they become one flesh. A lot of us have forgotten the leave our parents' house part. There's a reason why that happens because when you leave and this person becomes your focus, they are your first priority, which means that they are now your immediate family, which means that anything that your parents or your siblings or everybody else who now is your extended family uh says that is trying to attack this marriage, you need to set a boundary. But a lot of mother and father-in-laws and brothers and sisters and all these things don't want to do that. They still want to have access to their brother or sister who's now married in the same way that they did prior to their marriage. And biblically, that's not supposed to happen. They are a lower priority at this point. And that's not to say that you just cast them off to the side, but when it comes down to the marriage in that household, if that's not solid, then your children aren't solid. And if that's not solid individually, you're not solid. And then you can't do anything together to help these other people that you love if y'all are not on the same page. So it never helps whenever you've got your extended family coming and crossing that boundary of that should be established in the marriage. Um, and unfortunately, it's destroying some people's marriages because the married people don't set a boundary. It's up to the married person to set that boundary and be like, hey, I love you. I'm always gonna be here for you, but for this thing, yeah, this person is my priority.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

So when you're thinking about boundaries, how are how are you determining whether it's your pride or whether it's a healthy boundary that you're trying to set?

SPEAKER_00 14:12

I honestly, this is a cop-out answer. I honestly think it depends upon the situation, except in sit except in cases like marriage. If there is ever an instance where a person is coming to you and asking you to do something that is in complete opposition to uh the strength of your marriage, that should always be a no-go. Like if you know that uh that there is something that your husband absolutely does not like, and you know he's right, but you allow your family to come in and persuade you to do something in the other direction, that's always wrong. The reverse is also true. If he knows that there's something that you don't like or want to do or would benefit your family that you're building with your children, and he does the opposite because of some outside voice, that's never okay. Those decisions have to be made, the two of you. And I'm not saying that you can't get counsel somewhere else if you need counsel, because I know marriages is not this pretty picture we always paint it to be. Sometimes you need help. But if there are other voices that have more weight in your marriage than the two people who are married, that's a problem. And that's always a problem. You can take counsel. I would be wise about who you take it from, but you you can take counsel and that's fine. But if those other voices speak louder to you than God's voice and your spouse's voice, that's a problem.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Yeah, I agree. And then when I'm thinking boundaries, this doesn't just apply to marriage and singleness. You know, we could talk about everyone has no problem putting up work boundaries normally. I don't see nobody coming in on their day off. If I call someone and I say, hey, I really need you today, they're gonna be like, I can't do it, boss. Ain't no way, right? We don't have a problem setting the boundaries that, hey, if I work eight to five at five o'clock, I'm not looking at my work phone. I'm done with it. Like people have a really easy time setting boundaries there. Not an issue. Um, I don't see the same whenever it comes to boundaries and ministry.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Oh man, yeah, you're absolutely right. I'm gonna push back on that just a little bit, though. Not because I disagree with what you just said about ministry. I absolutely agree. But what I want to say is that people have a hard time putting up boundaries wherever their heart is. So there are people who absolutely have an issue putting their work phone down and their families are suffering because of it. Um, but likewise, there are also people who cannot disconnect from their ministry enough to serve their family, and their families are suffering for it. So it really just depends on where your heart is at. Case in point, my grandfather is no longer with us, but he he had the saying, there is no work around my heart. And what he meant by that is I don't care at all about working. Okay. Once the day is done, I'm out of here.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Once I clock out, I'm done.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Right. And you knew that because he was out. As soon as, you know, whatever five o'clock rolled around, he was out. But I can absolutely tell you what was around his heart. Some gambling, some drinking that was around his heart, some spending time with other people more than he was spending time with his family, that was around his heart sometime. Still a place that a boundary needed to be set, right?

SPEAKER_02 17:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

Because there is a deficit that's being uh that is being had somewhere else, because your heart is wrapped up in something. Now, to your point, lots of people's hearts are in ministry, which is not a bad thing. But if your family's suffering because of it, if you're burnt out because of because you're doing and striving, right, that's not the model that Jesus set for us. Over and over and over again, we read about Jesus going away to be with God. Over and over again, we read about him encouraging the disciples to go away and be with God. I don't know anybody more in ministry than them. So if they took time, if they had a boundary and it's like, okay, my life is being poured out for you all, but for this period of time, I need that for me to go be with God. Do that. But I don't know that we're doing that in ministry because we are doing ministry as a job a lot of times instead of a lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

So what are some boundaries in your life you had to set?

SPEAKER_00 19:03

That's a good question. I really wish you would have asked me before we started filming. What are some boundaries in my life that I had to set? Um, I am by nature a people pleaser, and that is because I and I don't like to disappoint people. Right. And so I have a tendency to say yes a lot. And even now, I still have this thing that I say, I say yes as much as I can so that I can say no when I need to. And that's where I've arrived with this boundary. I like to say yes, I like to help. That is just in me. And I don't think that that's bad to a point, but I know that I will work myself to death. And I've learned that I will work myself to death for people who wouldn't pick up the phone for me.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

And so I've begun to learn how to not do that and to help as much as I can and continue to have a heart to serve without it being tied to my identity and without me having a fear of saying no. So I say yes as much as I can so that when I need to say no, I say no without any reservation. That's a boundary that I've set in my life. And it's it spills out into um a variety of spheres like family, work, friendships, whatever it is. Even this podcast. If I need to go get away with God and it's Friday, oh well.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

I need to go what day we found.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Well, we don't. But if if I need to go get away with God in this Friday, that's gonna be a priority. So, you know, I've I've learned that because I've worked myself to death. Um so that's a boundary for me. I'm gonna turn that around to you.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Man, I feel like I have so many boundaries that I've had to set, um, whether it's family, work is easy. Like, it's a hard one for me because I like to work and the kind of work that I do, people need my help a lot. So I tend to need to stop everything. And sometimes it's like they need my help, and if I don't help them, it will be a catastrophe. And sometimes it's they need my help, and they just need to hear someone tell them you're all right. It's gonna be okay. Just breathe. It will be okay. Um, so I've always struggled with work and boundaries. Um, I think it was easier a few years ago when I had a job that stopped at five o'clock and no one talked to each other. It was like during the work day, you talk to all your coworkers, five o'clock hits. It's like they don't even exist. Never talk to them again. I can tell it until Monday. Um, but I do think that some boundaries that I've Created really have helped my marriage. So I have had to make boundaries with my family, of course. I'm one of 13. I have a lot of siblings. I have a really large family, and um, creating those boundaries to where I'm not going to allow anyone to negatively talk about my husband. Um, and if they are, they're not talking to me, surely. Um, and I had to establish that. I always think to myself, Michael's not gonna let anyone talk crap about me. Nobody. You don't care, it doesn't matter who you are. Like, if you start talking bad about me, Michael's gonna shut it down. I think sometimes we as women don't have that same approach. Um, and so I had to, you know, make a boundary there that like they I establish that if you start, I'm gonna stop you. Because we're not gonna do that. We're gonna talk negatively about it. And it's kind of trickled over into I've had where, you know, maybe someone will say something and I find myself going to bat for Michael, like, oh, wait a second, let's talk that through because that's not how this is gonna work. So that's a boundary that I had to create. Like, you're it's just not gonna happen. Um, but also like boundaries in our house. You know, we have to create boundaries with our children because if not, um my house would be a disaster all the time, right? Uh, they can only uh Michael's they they eat, don't bring any food upstairs. He would like it if no one was allowed to come into our bedroom at all. Like, not even walk in the door. He always tells me, This is our space. We haven't established that boundary yet.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

It's a work in progress.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

It's a work in progress. But you know, sometimes you do have to create boundaries uh to have a healthy marriage. Sure. Like, and if it is that you need to make it to where your room is your room and none of your children go in there, no one walks into mom and dad's room, then that's what you need to do. Yeah, we don't do that. We have two kids asleep in the bed with us. Yes, you do. Probably need to work on some boundaries. Um, but no, I've I've had quite a few with having so many siblings, I've had to establish boundaries where I felt like I was acting like mom. They were expecting me to take care of them. Well, I had to create some boundaries because I have my own kids to take care of. So it's it's interesting, like you shared the scripture and I knew you were gonna share it, about you know, a husband or a wife will cling to her husband, right? And um, that's a real hard boundary line for a lot of people to set because we love our families. Sure. We came from them and um my family, I know that we're really close, and it's always kind of been like us against the world kind of vibe. That's how it feels. So it's really odd, I think, from them to look in and be like, well, Madison's just over there in her own world with her family, and where are we? I think um I'm the only married one in my family of the 13. Um, I think maybe uh my sister Allison, I think, may have gotten married at this point. But I'm the only one that me and Michael have been doing this for hot minutes longer than that. Because Akessa's 19. So 20, 20 years. You know, we've been rocking and um we had a spurt where we weren't together, but you know, for the most part, he's always been around. So boundaries are hard, they are, um, but they're also rewarding. And once you once you put your foot down, the the first couple times is difficult because then you you feel like, oh, you know, sometimes the first 15 times. Yeah, sometimes. You know, it's difficult, but then once you are used to it and it's something you establish, it just logically makes sense. Doesn't it logically make sense that you wouldn't let anyone talk about your husband crazy?

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Yes, that's totally and you can see that for everyone else, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:58

That that totally makes sense. Why would you allow your your family, your mom, your sisters and stuff to come and gripe at you about how they can't stand your husband? How does that make any sense, right? Exactly. So, like some of them just logically make sense. For some reason, when you're in it, we don't always look like that. Logically it makes sense. I'm not gonna let no man move up in my apartment and mooch off me. Right, exactly. But sometimes when you're in it, you're like, that's that's for them, not me. Where's your value at? Boundaries, I think, work with value. When you value yourself, you have no not a hard time setting boundaries. Sure. Sometimes when you are a little conceited and really value yourself, you set boundaries that are not good boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

Realistic boundaries, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Bad boundaries. Yeah. What's a bad boundary?

SPEAKER_00 26:47

What's a bad boundary? Nobody can say anything to me.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

I like that one. Sounds good.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

That's a whole nother conversation. Um, but that was the first thing that came to my mind. No, nobody can say anything to me. Um, okay, well, what if the Lord sent somebody to say something to you? Now what? So now God can't say anything to you? Because you know, a lot of times he speaks through his people. Most of the time you don't want to hear what people have to say because they're touching on a sore spot.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

You want to know one that I think is a weird boundary that I just don't quite understand? Nobody's allowed to come to my house. Ain't nobody visiting me. I am not letting them over here. We can meet at the coffee shop. Don't come over to my house, don't try to bring me food, don't talk to me. You are not allowed in my casa. Like, I think it's just weird. Like, and I've met people like that. They're like, uh-uh, no one's coming over here. Like, they're not coming to my house. And for me, it almost feels like are we put is the house on a pedestal?

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Is the house dirty? Are you committing crimes? Is where my mind is.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Is something going on? Like, what is it that you feel like I don't want anyone in my space? This whole house belongs to me. I'm never gonna invite anyone over.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

And that's your business, but it does make me think that you're doing something strange.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

I just think it's a weird boundary. I don't think it's healthy.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

I don't think it's healthy either, because hospitality is a gift. Like, and being able to have relationships and be close enough with people to feel like you can have them in your home is not an abnormal thing. So you you might need to work on that a little bit. That's a weird one.

unknown 28:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

I don't really know many people like that, to be completely honest.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

I know a couple.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Yeah, I'm kind of glad I don't know many people like that. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a trillion people in my house either, but it's not off limits. Like it's it's not locked down, like nobody can come over there. You've been to my house, so like I have, you know. Um, so my last thought about this as you were talking, you were talking about how the marriage boundary can be a hard boundary to set because you love these people, right? And I thought about when when Jesus said it's a very, very difficult word. When Jesus said, if you do not um, or if you love mother, father, brother, sister more than me, you're not worthy of me. And some translations say, if you do not hate mother, father, brother, sister, you're not worthy of me. And for a lot of people, that's a hard word to receive because it's like, you want me to hate my mom, Jesus? Like, no, that's not what he's saying. But when you understand the heart of what he's saying is if you establish that boundary that God is priority, and you are living your life his way, and you're hungering and thirsting after his word and after his will, you're seeking first um the kingdom of God and all of its righteousness.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

When you do that, you love the people around you better. That's the thing people miss. When you do things in a healthy way, it enables you to be able to love people better. Now let's think about this from a practical standpoint. When a husband and wife are on the same page, and when their house is functioning in a stable way, their children prosper.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

What's the evidence of that? Well, the statistics that broken homes breed behavioral issues in children. Um, they are less likely to graduate high school, less likely to go to college. A very practical example of what happens when the thing that we were supposed to prioritize first gets prioritized. Same thing for your family. If y'all are on the same page and working towards your goals financially, and if somebody in your family has a need, you're better equipped to help them with that need because y'all are on the same page about what finances look like, what um what we absolutely have to get done here, and then how we can serve, because you're on the same page. You love people better. So when you establish biblical boundaries and you do things God's way and you prioritize Him above all things, it enables you to be able to steward the other areas of your life better. But when you're running around in emotion or holding on to something because of of the void that it fills in you or whatever it may be, you can't love people as well. You can't you can't serve as well. Your ministry suffers when you're trying to do too much. We just talked about calling and purpose, and you said if you got your hands in everything, you can't actually focus on the thing God's called you to do. Right. So when you establish those boundaries, it's a benefit to yourself and to those around you. I just think we don't always think about it like that.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Yeah, I agree. I think that we're more comfortable of going with what other people need than truly creating boundaries for ourselves to keep us happy and healthy, yeah, mentally stable.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Not gonna say protect your beast because whatever. Um protect your mental health. Because some of these people, man. Yeah, they'll take you for all you're worth.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

They will.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

And then when you're broken crying, and it is like, all right, well, on to the next. Yeah, they'll be okay. I'll I'll check on you next week. I have a boundary that if I am friends with someone and they aren't actively trying to reach out and talk to me like I am, we are not friends anymore.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

I get that.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Like, I'm not gonna be the one always approaching everyone. Like that's what it is. But um, yeah, I think you're you're spot on. Um, we need to create some healthy boundaries, but not prideful boundaries. Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:47

Exactly. So I guess I'll work on that this week.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Which one?

SPEAKER_00 32:52

Healthy boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

Not prideful ones.

unknown 32:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

And if I do some prideful ones, I'm banking on you to call me out.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

They're like, wait a second, why did you do it that way? Make that makes sense. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

And I need you to say it to me just like that.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

I won't. I won't.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

Of course you won't. That's all I got.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

It might be a little rougher than that.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Oh, good. That's that's I need direct. I need uh, you're acting stupid. That's what I need.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

I'm good at that.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

I know.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

Respectfully direct.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

Respectfully disrespectful.

SPEAKER_01 33:26

I'm not disrespectful. That's a lie. I'm respectful.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But that's all I have on this one. You have anything else?

SPEAKER_01 33:35

No, I don't. Um I I just challenge everyone to think about maybe some boundaries that you haven't set. Um just don't do anything to self-sabotage, like comments.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

The right boundaries. All right, guys. Let's see the next one.